Opportunities Lost Invisibly
By Dr. Ryan Donlan
Assistant Professor
Department of Educational Leadership
Bayh College of Education
Indiana State University
Last
weekend, I walked in and out of a music store with a $500.00 dollar bill in my
hand. I wanted to spend it, yet no one
gave me the opportunity. I lost interest
and walked away … invisibly.
Back
to my arrival: With classic rock playing through an open window, I parked my fire-engine
red pick-up truck directly across from the large display windows of a musical
equipment retail outlet, noticing as I hopped curbside, an employee loading a
keyboard stand into his vehicle near the entrance. Might
be that he had a gig after the store would close that day, I thought.
As I
walked in, a young lady jammed on a guitar, the only person in the front
room. Employees were nearby, in offices
and break rooms, enjoying each other’s company.
I
knew just what I wanted: a Peavey KB4 or KB5 keyboard amplifier, one with a
15-inch speaker. As I had orbited one or
two occasions prior, I knew just where they were located. Thoughts raced to a
gig I would be playing on a lake in northern Michigan a few weeks hence. I was
tempted to treat myself and make the investment.
There
I stood, above a few KB5’s, each with two 10-inch speakers and a horn. None with the “15” I wanted. Ahh …
the “15” must be in the KB4, I thought. I pondered asking if they one in
the back, or if not, if they would be able to get one in a week’s time. After all … I had a 500 dollar bill and a gig
approaching.
In
the distance, I saw the employee from the parking lot re-enter. He joined the conversation and laughter in
the break rooms and offices.
So I
stood … waited … and thought further the purchase. Then I thought of other things I could buy. I then walked away from the amps, past the
front counter, past the offices and break rooms with employees inside, past the
lady still jamming, and out of the front door.
I lost
interest, thinking I should probably hold-off on the investment. Our house needs a bit of landscaping.
As I
drove from the parking lot, I was reminded of similar feelings – feelings of
invisibility – five years prior, when my children, Sean and Katelyn, were
nearing school age. My wife, Wendy, and
I were worried about the lack of a middle school concept in our local public
schools (envisioning what would be part of their education a few years hence),
so as parents we went shopping, as
good school choice legislation would allow us to do.
One
evening, we attended “Open House Night” at a smaller school district, a short
distance away, yet much-revered in the marketing mailings we received, which
touted quality teachers and a seamless, college-preparatory K-12 instructional
program. This piqued our interest.
As
we walked into the school, a number of people were around, yet little
intentionality was put into a greeting.
We were encouraged by one Good Samaritan, however, to sign-in, walk the
halls, and have a snack.
Finding
the Kindergarten room, we entered and saw the teacher talking with a few
students currently enrolled. She seemed
nice enough. It appeared that the school
was combining “future student/family night” with “current student/family
night.” Over the next 15 minutes or so,
we spent time wandering the room, looking at student work, making notes of
supplies and materials, and trying to get an affirming nod from the teacher. As
nice as she seemed in a general sense, she didn’t make contact with us.
We
eventually lost interest and left the room.
Sean
and Katelyn didn’t mind. They very much
wanted a return to the snack table in the cafeteria.
We
eventually left, deciding to school-shop elsewhere to see what was available.
In
retrospect, I thought of the dollars and cents involved. If we were to have enrolled Sean and Katelyn,
the school would have received over 20 thousand dollars of state funding over
the next two years alone. Instead, we
chose to spend around 10 thousand dollars or more of our own money in tuition
in parochial schools, before moving to Terre Haute, Indiana.
That’s
over 30 thousand dollars in financial opportunities lost, due to invisibility
and a subsequent loss of interest.
My
point?
Is
there a possibility that someone, a child or young adult, arrives at school
each day, invisible, traveling from
class-to-class or activity-to-activity with a fortune to invest and no one appreciating
it by making a connection?
We’d
like to think not … but …
Could
it be that these children are the quiet ones, who would love to have someone
notice them, yet no one does?
Invisibility
in our schools, I would contend, doesn’t happen intentionally. Oftentimes, it’s just because we’re paying
attention to the MORE visible around us. Examples: The brown-noser’s; future felons, and as some
critical theorists would contend -- those who are similar in demographic to
ourselves.
Not
wanting this simply to be a hunch, I spent a bit of time looking for a
scholarly perspective on invisibility
and found what I believe is an intriguing, related concept – the notion of mattering.
Lemon
and Watson (2011) noted that mattering
(whether we are of interest and importance to others), taken together with six
other issues pertaining to stress and self, accounts for 35.1% of the variance
in at-risk status for dropouts.
Wanting
a clearer picture of its individual influence on kids, as well as to get a
clearer definition of mattering, I braved a thunderstorm’s stroll through
campus and visited the library. Touching
books (a lost art), I found a study by Rosenberg and McCullough (1981), which mentioned
that when students matter little to parents, they have lower self-esteem, more
depression and anxiety; they’re more anxious, and they are more likely to be
delinquent.
I
thought to myself how one’s being invisible in school would certainly compound any
of these negative’s influenced by one’s home life.
The
authors noted further, “Mattering may be relatively high among children and
adults, low among adolescents and old people” (p. 180). I thought to myself, What a time NOT to push 150 students through a teacher’s classroom each
day at the junior high and high school level.
And
for those who allow kids’ overtures to push us away at this critical age,
believing they want to be left alone, the authors noted, “… the adolescent who
infers that he is significant is
happier … [This] is doubly interesting because mattering is usually a burden,
an obligation, and a restriction on freedom” (p. 179).
The
upshot of it all -- When we pay attention, kids may resist, but they may secretly
want us to “pull-them-in,” when they are pushing us away.
They
want to matter.
How
often do we create opportunities lost in children, borne of unintentional invisibility?
References
Lemon, J. C. & Watson, J. C. (2011).
Early identification of potential high school dropouts: An investigation of the
relationship among at-risk status, wellness, perceived stress, and mattering. Journal of At-Risk Issues 16(2), 17-23.
Rosenberg, M. & McCullough, B. C.
(1981). Mattering: Inferred significance and mental health. In R. G. Simmons (Ed.), Research in Community and Mental Health (pp. 163-182). Greenwich,
CT: Jai Press, Inc.
________________________________________________________________
Dr. Ryan Donlan is looking to
buy a keyboard amplifier … AND he wants to do his part positively to affect the
future of education in America. If you
would like to help him promote greater visibility so that more student feel
they matter, please consider contacting him at (812) 237-8624 or at ryan.donlan@indstate.edu.